Not a poet but I was inspired to write this for some reason
Thank you music
Thank you for your flirtations and seduction
Thank you for your warmth and destruction
Thank you for rejection and frustrations
Thank you for making me look like a bum and eternal idealist
Heaven is internal.
Heaven’s a destination. A state of being and a state of mind.
When someone tells you you can’t do something the reality of others doesn’t have to be your own
I’ve been stressed and unkempt, tired, and just sleep-deprived. So after drinking 3 cups of coffee, and an energy drink I predictably started feeling light-headed. I figured I didn’t eat anything in the day, so I walked to the kitchen to get some food. I even felt a little nervous about walking up the stairs so I thought about asking my brother to make me a sandwich. But he was studying so I just started walking up the stairs to get my own food. Then I started having trouble breathing and my heart started pounding in my chest. I felt like I couldn’t stand. I wanted to lie down, because my heart was thumping out of my chest. This is when I told my brother, “I think I’m in trouble.” I ate a banana and tried to rest it out, but I couldn’t tough it out. I had my bro call 911. When the EMT came they measured my Pulse as 142, and my Blood Pressure as 189/125 laying down. My hands were numb and prickly, my ears were warm and prickly too. I started feeling a warmth Then sitting up, my blood pressure was measured as 197/126. My Respiration was 20 when the normal range is 12-20. I could hardly speak. I couldn’t complete sentences I had trouble keeping my eyes open, I thought I was going to die. So all I was thinking about was my family’s mourning process. What life be for them when I’m dead and gone? I also thought about all the songs I recorded that wouldn’t see the light of day. It almost happened, if it wasn’t for the oxygen and pill….My light would’ve faded without a whisper. I remember wanting my brother and sister to keep away so they didn’t see me with tubes and oxygen in me and possibly see me die. I was having trouble seeing so I closed my eyes and just kinda waited for my blood pressure to go down or for my death to come. It’s a surreal experience to feel your death is going to come shortly. I didn’t feel sad, or angry, I just imagined my family at my funeral and the life I had on this earth. I was pretty much ready.
SPOILER SPOIILERSPOILER SPOIILER
I’m watching Dexter on Netflix when I take a break from writing and recording, and I’m just so overwhelmed with feelings. Sadness, disgust, anger, confusion, shock. Why am I so attached? I guess because that’s how the writer’s wanted it. But, hot damn, I can’t believe it. The fact that she shared the same perverse and graphic fate of Trinity’s other victims, makes me really irritated and frustrated lol. Over a TV show character. It’s just so unexpected and tragic. If the writer’s wanted a reaction, they got one lol. Peace.